Monday, October 26, 2009

Holding on...

By a Thread. Thats what I feel like tonight. I did so good this morning. After taking the kids to school, me and Breanna got a lot of errands ran. I finished everything I needed for Halloween and Halloween parties. I am about ready for our Christmas pictures. I was on a roll. Then I pick Kyra up from school and my day starts going like everyday. She said she had a headache and she got very anger and upset. She calmed down, we came home took tylenol and ate lunch. She has complained off and on the rest of the day.
Wesley is about the same. Kyra's regular Dr. called today and our insurance is not wanting to pay for the MRI, because she is not diagnosed with anything yet. Her Dr. is trying to get them too. He just wants an MRI ran first to rule out tumor, Chiari, anything, before going to other Dr.'s. He is working on it, we will see what happens and what needs to happen next. More waiting. Joy- The story of my life. Really!
So by lunch time I just found myself very crabby and my patience very thin. I am trying so hard to be strong. And everyone keep telling me, to not stress and be upset until I for sure know that something is wrong. Really!! Well, that is easier said then done. This is one of my babies. Do you even know what I have seen Wesley go through. Even a 1 percent chance that Kyra may have this disease scares me to death. Not that it is fun seeing your husband go through what he has, but your child is different. I can not even think about her getting an MRI.
But at the end of the day all I can do is lean on God. He has showed me time and time again that he is in charge and that he is taking care of us. And really I know that. But, that does not mean I am not going to be upset and worry. Because tonight thats exactly what I am.

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