Struggling

The last two days I have really been struggling. Everyone asks me how I am. I really am ok. But, I just feel like I am struggling with a bunch of different things right now. Does it make sense to be struggling, but to be ok? Thats how I feel. I barely feel like I am hanging on most days, but I am "ok" because I have God.

As you saw from my last post, Wesley will be having surgery Dec. 28th. We saw Dr. White and I do not feel like he agreed with everything the Dr. from New York said, but he did agree that the shunt needs to be replaced. He is going to put a new kind in. He said, it should help, but there are no promises. Basically he said in nice words, "there is not a lot of hope, Wesley will never be completely well". You know we have heard that many times, and I guess we just still hold on to a little piece of hope. We are praying very hard that this at least helps him to feel a little better and to keep him well for a while. The plan is, he will go in on the 28th stay two days or so in the hospital and have about a two week recovery before he can do much of anything. I will get to shave his head again :). Yes, I do take great pleasure in that!

Kyra had a headache this morning. First one she had complained about in a while. I feel like my heart just stops when she has one. Before, I just told myself, awww, she is just saying that. She is fine. Now, it is different. I know what she has and I know she really has headaches. And, it breaks my heart to even think that she will have to live with this disease. I hang on to the hope that hers was caught early and she will not have to suffer like Wesley.

I believe that God has put Wesley through this so that we could be more educated for Kyra. You know sometimes God works in strange ways, but like Wesley always says, " he would suffer anyday over his kids having to suffer".

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. Romans 15:4

I do ask everyone this, do not worry about us. We will have a Merry Christmas and we will be ok. I promise. Just continue saying your prayers for us, as they keep us strong. We can feel all the prayers and love. Goodnight!!