There has been many days to where I felt like the walls were falling in on me. I felt like I had noone. Why is this happening to us? Why Why?? Why did I make stupid decisions as a teenager? Why did my brother get killed? Why did my best friend get killed? Now, what my husband? Why is he so sick? I could go on and on. I could drown in my pity. But, no longer. God is taking care of me, of my family, and I will be ok. I am stronger then I ever thought I was, God is showing me that.
The saying, "God does not give you more then you can handle", SO TRUE!
I am so blessed. God has had a plan for me all along. I still do not understand some of it and I never will. Not in this life. Thats ok. I feel safe! I feel at peace!
Wesley is going to be ok. When we got pregnant young, got married young, the odds were against us. A lot of people were against us. Guess what, we showed them! God did this. We will grow old together. I am so at peace.
Now does this mean I am not going to have a bad day. No, I have bad days all the times. The whole point is, I realize how very blessed I am. And, I am finally at peace with my life. Still do not understand some of it and I never will. We are finding a new "normal". We know Wesley will never be the same. We know one of the kids may have this disease. We know that changes have to be made. Thats ok.
I have always been a giving person. When Wesley became ill it was so hard for me to take from others. Somedays it still is. But, I have learned that it makes people feel better to help. I am so thankful for all the help we have received. There are so many that love our family. It melts my heart. Tonight Amyee, I attend church with her and she was my manager where I used to work. Anyhow her and everyone at Healthline, where I worked brought us a bunch of food. Made my night!
The kids had a blast neating stacking everything so that I could take a picture :)
Healthline has done so much for us. I only worked there three months. They barely even know us. It breaks my heart that I quit, but I am so blessed to have met them all and to have them in our lives. Thanks Amyee and Heathline!! What wonderful people!
I could not even list in an hour how many people have helped us. Whether it has been money, food, a visit, a call, so many amazing people in our lives.
I want to close with how blessed I am to have my four wonderful children.
I walk down the hall tonight to hear Blake saying his prayers. It was hard to hear everything, but I picked up on him saying, "God please make Sam Bradford better so that he can play football again somday", "God please make my daddy well". God love him! I felt like I am doing something right. To hear him pray on his own and pray for others.